


chocolate ice cream

by longerthanmywang



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M, Reddie, idk if i should have tagged this as kaspbrough because its only a little bit at the end??? ahhhh, just kinda sorta really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 17:55:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13059156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longerthanmywang/pseuds/longerthanmywang
Summary: In which Richie Tozier makes a promise.





	chocolate ice cream

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally posted to africaeddie.tumblr.com (my tumblr). link if you would prefer to read it there: <http://africaeddie.tumblr.com/post/168646367928/chocolate-ice-cream>  
> this fic can be majorly triggering for some, so please be safe and avoid reading this if you are triggered by **child abuse or major character death**. if you enjoy it, please leave a comment or kudos because man, i love those. or send me an ask on tumblr. thank you!
> 
> also WOW i know nothing about ao3. idk how the settings on this fic work, but this is a one shot (aka there isn't going to be any more chapters, idk why it looks that way) ahhh, anyways thank you for reading!

**The population of Derry, Maine is 497 before Eddie and his mother move.**

**499 is just such an unlucky number, isn’t it? So short of perfect 500.**

Eddie Kaspbrak is five years old when he says goodbye to his dad for the last time, and he’s five and a half when they pack everything up. He’s six when they finally settle in Derry, and six and a quarter when he meets Richie.

Richie’s tall for his age. That’s all Eddie notices at first. He then takes note of how the boy who shares his green finger paint is wears glasses too big for his face, and a shaggy head of dark hair. His clothes are all too baggy, and stained, and Richie has a big, blue band aid on his cheek and missing teeth.

He introduces himself with a goofy smile, and says _Hi, I’m Richie, I’ll trade you my green for your purple_ , and juts out his cup of green paint. Eddie and Richie swap paint, and Eddie smiles. 

Richie then sticks out his hand for a handshake, which is something Eddie’s only seen in movies. Eddie’s unsure of what to do, so he simply touches Richie’s hand, and Richie says,  _no, no, like this,_ and he holds Eddie’s hand against his, grasping it firmly, moving their arms up and down.  _It’s a handshake_ , he says.  _They say you can tell a lot about someone by their handshake._

This breaks Eddie into little hiccups of laughter, and Richie laughs too before their teacher, Anne, tells them to be quiet and continue painting. But, then again, it didn’t take much to make shy little six year olds laugh.

Richie follows him outside after that, and they exchange the typical kindergarten formalities; favorite Pokemon, favorite superhero, all while swinging in unison on the elementary school’s bright red swing set. Richie tells Eddie one day, that,  _if he swings real high, he’ll fly off into space_ , so he grabs his hand to keep him grounded to Earth. They pump their legs and swing high and laugh all by themselves, and the residue of wet fingerpaint rubs off on each other’s palms.

Eddie gets home and tells his mom all about his new friend, and how his favorite superhero is  _The Flash_ , and all about his blue band aid and his glasses and how you can tell a lot about someone by their handshake. His mother is disinterested, but he doesn’t care, he could talk all day, that’s how excited he is. As the time goes by, Richie becomes Eddie’s best friend. Eddie tells Richie how he doesn’t have a dad, just a mom, and Richie is sympathetic but simultaneously curious. They hold hands on the swing, but they hold hands in school too, because Richie says that there could be monsters that want to come get them, so they have to stick together.

And Eddie’s mom finally decides she has to meet this boy Eddie’s been so obsessed about, so Eddie invites him to come over on a Friday. That Thursday, he makes his mom stop at the grocery store, and they buy animal crackers and fruit punch and she even lets him pick out a sweet- he gets a tub of chocolate ice cream, because Richie loves chocolate.

Eddie can’t sleep the night before Richie comes over, he’s just so excited for Richie to get in the car with him after school, for Richie to see his room, for Richie to be insanely jealous of his baseball card collection.

But Richie doesn’t come to school on Friday.

Eddie frantically searches the class for Richie’s familiar, tall, shaggy head of hair when Anne gathers them all up for story time. He thinks of how their play date was all they talked about yesterday, how Richie could hardly wait, and Eddie is just so confused. He stays up when everyone else is napping, and he tearfully explains to the teacher that he just doesn’t know where Richie is, and he would’ve told him if he was sick. She places a soothing hand on his shoulder and says,  _Richie’s sick today, he’s coming back on Monday._ And this makes Eddie cry harder because it can’t be Monday, not when their play date was today.

And when Eddie’s mother comes in to get him, he blubbers and explains that Richie didn’t come today, and she frowns at him. That night, he catches her digging into the carton of ice cream after dinner, and he tells her that she can’t have any,  _that’s for when Richie comes over!_  And she nods and puts the carton away, surprisingly succumbing to one of Eddie’s ridiculous requests.

And, as promised, Richie comes to school on Monday, good as new. Eddie spills to Richie how much he missed him on Friday, and he tells Richie about all of the monsters he saw on the playground that could’ve gotten him, but,  _it’s a good thing I’m brave_. And Richie laughs and holds his hand and says,  _you don’t need to be brave by yourself, they’re not gonna get you, because I am always with you, Eddie, even when I’m not._

_Promise?_

_Promise._

_Me, too._

Richie misses more school. When he does come to school, he wears more band aids and Anne wants to talk to him more than usual. But they still have recess, and their swings and their talks about superheroes and monsters and french fries. And when Richie doesn’t come to school, and Eddie gets scared, he remembers their promise. _I am always with you, Eddie, even when I’m not._ He always feels bigger with Richie by his side.

One weekend, one of Eddie’s cousins gets married and he puts on a suit that’s too tight and allows his aunts to pinch his cheeks and marvel at how much he’s grown. Weddings are fun, Eddie decides, and his cousin carries him around on his shoulders and they dance and he stays up past midnight, he tells Richie excitedly.

“I’ve never been to a wedding,” Says Richie. “I’d like to marry you,” He adds, and Eddie laughs because boys and boys don’t get married.

“We can’t get married!”

“Why not?”

“ _Because_  we’re not even grown ups yet,” Eddie says as a matter of factly, and rolls his eyes.

“Well, lets get married when we’re grown ups,”

Eddie giggles, and swings higher.

It gets too cold outside to go out on the swings, so Richie and Eddie resort to playing connect four on the carpet during recess. Eddie hears the teacher tell his mother that he and Richie are ‘the best of friends’, and Eddie pulls on her skirt and says excitedly,  _yeah, and we’re going to get married when we’re old!_ And Anne and his mother laugh because kids are just so ridiculous.

Christmas falls upon them quickly, and this year Eddie gets to help the neighbors put up the twinkly lights around the entrance to his neighborhood. His mom hangs two stockings on the mantle, and Eddie asks if she could hang a third, for Richie.

His mother says no, because Richie already has a stocking at his house.

_But Christmas is our favorite! Can he please come over on Christmas, Mama, please?_

After days of begging, Eddie’s mom sighs, and reluctantly allows her son to invite Richie over on Christmas eve.

Eddie races to tell Richie at school, and Richie’s eyes light up like the colorful bulbs Eddie strung over the treetops the day before. They’re giddy with excitement, spending the rest of the day planning their very first sleepover, on the very best day of the year.

Eddie never notices that Richie wears the same pair of pants all winter, or that the bruises- which he blames on falling down, are getting bigger, and some are swollen. There are just things six-and-a-half year olds don’t notice. Hell, there are some things adults and teachers don’t notice.

On the last day of school before winter break, the kindergartners all go and attend the fourth graders nativity production. The play is in the gym, which is old and creaky and smells like a basement. They all line up in squeaky white folding chairs to watch big fourth graders dressed up as shepards forget their lines for an hour and a half. Richie laughs at every corny joke and song, and swings his legs as well as Eddie’s hand. The play concludes and the gym lights go up, everyone beginning to shuffle out of their seats. When Eddie stands, Richie hugs him, and wishes him a merry Christmas. Eddie smiles and wishes him one back, even though he’ll just wish him another one when he comes over on Christmas Eve. Richie grins so big with excitement that the movement of his cheekbones moves his glasses as well.  _I love you, Eddie.  
_

_I love you too, Richie. I’ll see ya soon._

When Eddie’s mom comes to pick him up, Eddie turns and waves wildly to his friend as his mother buckles him up.

Christmas Eve finally comes. His mom spends the whole day cleaning, which she usually does anyways, and Eddie organizes his room just so Richie can see the box his mom helped him wrap in red paper right when he walks in. It’s a  _The Flash_ comic, because Richie loves  _The Flash_. Eddie could barely afford it, and the purchase forced Eddie to break out his ‘emergency cash’ in his little white piggy bank. But,  _The Flash_  was Richie’s all-time favorite, and although his mom offered to buy it, Eddie wanted to buy it himself.

Eddie digs through the linen closet and dumps armfuls of sheets, comforters and pillows in his bedroom. He and Richie had been plotting to catch Santa, and a pillow fort was integral to their plan.

His mom helps him get on his dress clothes for Church, and Eddie’s trying to adjust his own tie the way they do in the movies when the phone rings. His mother is in a complete disarray, scrambling to check up on the turkey, make sure the decorations looked nice, even if it was just for her and her son. And, her son’s friend.

She huffs and picks up the phone, Eddie waiting impatiently by the door.

 _Hello?_ She sighs and places an exasperated hand on her hip.  _This is she._

There’s a long gap of speech on the other line. Her face distorts into looks of confusion and shock.  _Oh, oh, sweet Jesus_ , is all she says, and sits down in the armchair.

Eddie’s getting nervous now, he hates seeing his mom upset.

 _Oh_ , she says softly, and looks up at Eddie with sad eyes.  _Oh, my god, that’s- y-yes, all the time. No, uh-uh, never._

Eddie attempts to piece together the story through one side of the conversation, but he is still incredibly confused. His mother faces away from him, and Eddie can just make out a slight sob.

He runs to her side and hugs her, the phone now sitting in the lap of her dress.  _Mommy, what’s wrong? Mommy, what happened?_

Mrs. Kaspbrak can hardly accumulate herself enough to speak, and when she does she embraces Eddie, squeezing him as tightly as she can, burying her face in his shoulder. Eddie’s arms steal out and he pushes on her shoulders, facing her. All she can do is apologize, and Eddie demands to know  _what’s wrong, what happened?_

She stumbles over her words when she speaks.  _Honey, Richie’s in heaven now. I’m so sorry._

A new feeling cascades over Eddie like a dark cloud. He refuses to believe it. Wh-what? But- but what about the sleepover?

All his mother can do is hug him tightly, and repeat, _I’m so sorry, baby, I’m so sorry._

Eddie’s mind is set running with confusion. Why is Richie in heaven? What about the fort? And the comic book? And the new carton of chocolate ice cream in the freezer? What about their plans? How are they going to get married when Richie’s in heaven? He begins to cry when he asks his mom if it was a monster that got him.

She just pulls him in and holds him, allowing her sons sobs to rock through his body.  _It’s okay_ , she repeats again and again. Eddie asks if Richie is with daddy, and she nods.

The rest is a blur. They skip church, and Christmas eve is quiet. Santa doesn’t come, and Eddie’s mom carves the turkey but he can’t eat. On Christmas morning, Eddie wakes up in his mom’s bed, and his eyes fall though his own doorway, upon his gift for Richie on his nightstand. Eddie’s grief-stricken. When his mother asks him what he wants for breakfast, anything, even donuts, Eddie says all he wants is Richie to come back.

It’s been a few weeks before Eddie can walk into his bedroom without completely breaking down in tears. He just doesn’t understand where Richie is. He just wants him to come back.

Eddie’s been to a funeral before, his father’s. The morning his mom dresses him up in a suit and tells him to be honest and brave is the day Eddie assumes is Richie’s funeral. Except there’s no coffin or a cemetery, it’s a big room full of strangers, although some looked sad, most everyone was just angry. His mother encourages him to talk into a microphone about the things he and Richie talked about, and the way Richie acted at school. He doesn’t know why the things Richie did and did not say were so important; that alone did not make up their friendship. But a lady he didn’t know wrote them all down on a loud typewriter, and his mom hugs him when it’s over.

Afterwards, Eddie’s mom tells him that he was brave, but Eddie doesn’t get how. He doesn’t understand any of this. He doesn’t understand when his mother says that Richie’s dad was a very bad man.

School starts again, but Eddie stays home. Sometimes, his mom takes him to go see Taylor, a kind and smart woman, who gives Eddie lots of candy and has him point to how he feels on a laminated poster. She has an office with dark green walls and burns candles to keep it smelling like flowers and bonfires. Taylor has glasses, like Richie’s, except they’re little purple rectangles on her nose. She asks him how he feels about going back to school, and she asks him if he’s having trouble getting up in the morning. She smiles a lot, and when she smiles little wrinkles form by her eyes. She has kind eyes. Eddie likes going to see Taylor.

Eddie goes to a new school, eventually, around the time when Richie’s 7th birthday comes and goes.

Eddie grows up, like all kids do, and finds new friends, like all kids do. He feels a pang of nostalgia every time he passes his old elementary school, and sometimes it takes him a moment to remember why.

Eventually, Eddie’s in high school, and he can just faintly remember a boy with big glasses who loved chocolate ice cream and  _The Flash_. The name escapes him, and Eddie feels guilty for forgetting. 

So he pages through an old kindergarten yearbook, looking for memories. On the last page, a dedication. _In loving memory._  A distant, familiar face smiles back at him.

He hates himself for forgetting. 

The day Eddie gives in and looks up Richie’s name online, he throws up in a recycling bin at the library.  _Six year old Richie Tozier found dead by neighbor, December 24th, 1988._ He never learned what happened until then, and the rest of it is too gruesome to describe, or even think about for more than a few seconds at a time. It brings back a new pain inside of Eddie, to the point where he graduates early to get out of Derry as soon as possible. He takes long routes to avoid passing the elementary school.

He’s haunted by Richie.

College is a new experience, with new people. He doesn’t love his school; he just chooses the place that offered the most scholarships and took him the farthest.

However, he does return sometimes, to visit his mother. Eddie brings Bill with him, and shows him around the tiny town, reminiscing on old high school memories, not daring to venture deeper, deeper to a boy he had long forgotten, dead by the age of 6.  _Found by neighbor._

Eddie dreams about Richie sometimes, but the dreams escape him when he wakes up, just like the memories. He tries to remember, he really does.

They go to an ice cream parlor, and Bill gets a strawberry milkshake and Eddie a chocolate. They sit in a little booth and smile, and Bill remarks how lovely of a town it is.

Eddie sips his milkshake, and he remembers a boy who loved chocolate ice cream, a boy who believed in the power of a handshake at the age of 6, a boy Eddie had wanted to marry.

A boy he had loved.

 _Ready to go?_  Eddie asks, and smiles, reaching for Bill’s hand in the parking lot.

He takes a shorter route home, and passes by an elementary school with two red swings. He remembers a promise, he remembers a boy, but this time, the memories he tries to repress don’t bring pain. They bring happiness, nostalgia for a sweeter time. The memories make Eddie’s chest soar.

The population of Derry, Maine becomes 499 when Eddie moves in.

Then it becomes 498.

_I am always with you, Eddie, even when I’m not. I promise._

_I️ promise, too._

the end


End file.
